The Irrationality of Rationality

By playing multiple SNG’s all the time, one generates a shit load of FPP points, especially with the new VIP program installed. At first I had always planned on using the FPP points just to buy into small satellite tournaments at 500 at a time. But I found myself accumulating more than I could spend in those tournaments, plus I started to figure the time I was investing in them wasn’t overly lucrative in terms of profit or expected gain from them.

So I started to read that list of things you could purchase with your FPP points. Most of them are 100% gay, like t-shirts, hats, jackets and posters. But there are some things that have decent value on there. I decided that I wanted to continue using the FPP points for entries into larger tournaments. So I first decided that I would join one of those single table tournaments with one of their “stars” – price: 15k FPP. The appeal there is you can win $1000, plus more if you knock out the famous player. I would have chosen to play against Greg Raymer, that fat lucky piece of shit who won the 2004 WSOP. I’ve always despised him. For no real good reason other than he’s just really annoying to watch play. I think it comes down to the fact that I just hate super-aggressive players that push all in every other hand, and that is what Raymer seemingly did in his win – and got extremely lucky in the process sucking out multiple times.

Anyways, once I reached 15k FPP, I decided against joining the single table tournament, in favor of a larger tournament entry – the end of the month $530 buy-in tournament that Stars puts on – which costs 33000 FPP. I figured I should take a shot at a big tournament someday, and even if I busted out with nothing, I would probably still be happier than with an iPod or something material.

But then I changed my mind again.

And this time it had nothing to do with anything rational or smart. It had to do with vengeance and anger. In a sense, it was prolonged tilt which made me make this decision. But even now, in a clear state of mind, I stand by my decision. I’m going to save up enough FPP points to enter a WSOP event. Not the big one – I won’t have enough FPP by then, but I should have enough for a $1000 or $1500 buy-in event. And while these smaller events don’t have the prestige that the $10k event does, it is still a live tournament against the best players in the world.

So what made me make this decision? Well last night I was reading random sights, when I came across the poker stars blog that had live updates for the EPT Monte Carlo tournament. A few months ago I finished 2nd in a satellite which would have sent me to that exact tournament, paying my buy-in, hotel and extra cash for spending. It would have been amazing. Well I decided to see if I could find anything out about the player that beat me in heads up to go to that tournament. His name was “AuroraKT” and from my accounts and what I remember he was a pretty bad player, which at the time compounded the pain of losing. I searched for him and low and behold, there he was, in all his goofy old man glory. The blog author decided to do a short mini blurb about him:

“A long time ago, back in the days when I was a "normal" journalist, I subscribed to the theory that everyone has a story. While my normal journalism days are on indefinite hiatus, I still hold on to the maxim. In every poker player, there is some sort of story, whether it is a mad rush, a bad-beat-filled month, or a simple moment of good fortune, under the cards there is a story.

Take, for instance, Kevin "AuroraKT" Tennant of Aurora, Ohio. Normal life deals him cards in the pharmaceutical industry. Apparently he plays them well. But several months ago, Tennant decided to try his hand at online poker. A Sit&Go here and a Sit&Go there eventually helped him accumulate a few PokerStars Frequent Player Points. And one day he spied a little 60 FPP sub-qualifier for the EPT Grand Final.

"I basically did it on a lark," he said.

The lark led him to the weekend qualifier. And, wouldn't you know it, now Tennant is sitting a few feet from me, fighting against some of the toughest poker players in the world. His kids are back at home. His wife is here with him. Oh, and if I failed to mention it, this is the first time Tennant has played in a live tournament.”

Aww isn’t that a heart warming story. I’m glad to read that he didn’t make it past the first day. I imagine that he ended up all in on the first hand with AJ that he just couldn’t get away from.

Reading that small passage upsets me greatly. It brought me back to that exact painful moment when I lost it all. It was my tournament to win and he’s there playing it for me. I realize all this must come off as pretty pathetic and envious, but I can’t help but get upset about it.

But that’s poker. And losses like that are things you just have to take.

I also just finally just finished reading “Positively Fifth Street” by James McManus. It’s basically a story about the author who at the time was a very amateur player, entered the 2000 World Series of Poker and went on to the final table, finishing 5th and taking home a few hundred grand. Reading the accounts of his play made me angry. He made a lot of extremely questionable moves throughout his book, and look where it got him; to the final fucking table.

So I decided that I needed some redemption. I want to say that I’m good enough to be playing in a large buy-in tournament, especially based on what these two amateur’s have done with their embarrassingly bad play. And I suppose that a lot of home/internet players would say the same, especially after watching such monkeys as Moneymaker and Raymer winning these things. I know I’m probably at best a below average player compared to most of the contestants who would enter the WSOP, but fuck, I deserve it to myself to take a shot at something. Final tabling or winning any of these types of events would pretty much change my life I imagine. And it’s not a complete impossibility by any means. Sure, it’s quite unlikely, but there is a chance. And I can’t grind it out at the SNG’s my whole life, I’ll need a windfall win here and there, so why not now?

So it’s something I just have to do. Rational or not, it must be done. From any kind of risk standpoint, it’s a losing endeavor. The cost of traveling to Vegas, the cost of the FPP”s I would give up by entering it, and the unlikely hood of me winning anything at all add up to a stupid move. But reading that blog about the geezer who took my trip to Monte Carlo warped my sense of rational thought.

So I’m going to the WSOP, which is something I’ve always wanted to do anyways since I started playing poker, and I’ll be in an event to boot. It’s got to be better than a Poker Stars Jacket and an iPod. Sorry for the stupidly long, probably incoherent post.