If you can't beat em.. busto?
So I think I'm pretty much fucked.
I have played break even or worse poker 5 straight sessions.
Ok, that probably looks pretty pathetic. I mean, obviously I'm just in a downswing right? It will turn, etc, etc...
No, this time, it's for real.
I've lost all confidence. I've lost all desire to succeed. Every game ends with me saying "yup" under my breath, as if it's just expected now.
To top things off, I just purchased a car. With cash - about half of my bankroll. It was a smart play at the time since I was effortlessly pulling in $1k/days. But since the exact moment I bought it, I've lost every session since. I've completely given up on playing the 114s and am still getting my ass handed to me in the 60s.
Ok, this post is pretty fucking miserable. But that's how I feel. I honestly can't process a positive thought right now. There have been exactly 0 times in the last 5 days that I've been up at any point of the day. I've been constantly pissing money away with zero return. Here's a graph.
Awesome eh?
I realize that people have gone through worse, and I think I even have. But this time it's different. There hasn't been a glimmer of hope that things will return to normal. Something has changed, and I can't decipher it. I think I'm playing the same, but I'm clearly not. And the other problem is, each fresh session I sit down for, it takes me less and less losses to get tilty. When I was winning, tilt rarely appeared. But now, the first suckout sends me off the deep end.
I wish I could just erase my memories, but retain my knowledge. If I can't get out of this funk soon I may have to hang it up, as my bankroll is taking a serious hit. Here is my favorite hand from today:
Seat 1: RikkiDee (1790 in chips)
Seat 3: kampana (2110 in chips)
Seat 5: deut23-10 (3295 in chips)
Seat 6: robbastow (1370 in chips)
Seat 7: jazbailey (1965 in chips)
Seat 8: ozkar4141 (1020 in chips)
Seat 9: Santana627 (1950 in chips)
RikkiDee: posts small blind 50
kampana: posts big blind 100
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to RikkiDee [Ah Jd]
deut23-10: folds
robbastow: folds
jazbailey: folds
ozkar4141: folds
Santana627: raises 200 to 300
RikkiDee: raises 1490 to 1790 and is all-in
kampana: folds
Santana627: calls 1490
*** FLOP *** [Js 7h 8s]
RikkiDee said, "wtf"
*** TURN *** [Js 7h 8s] [Kh]
*** RIVER *** [Js 7h 8s Kh] [2d]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
RikkiDee: shows [Ah Jd] (a pair of Jacks)
Santana627: shows [Jh 8h] (two pair, Jacks and Eights)
Santana627 collected 3680 from pot
May I add that was an insta call.
Whats funny, is that this month is still my most profitable yet, even though I'm vastly underachieving.
I have played break even or worse poker 5 straight sessions.
Ok, that probably looks pretty pathetic. I mean, obviously I'm just in a downswing right? It will turn, etc, etc...
No, this time, it's for real.
I've lost all confidence. I've lost all desire to succeed. Every game ends with me saying "yup" under my breath, as if it's just expected now.
To top things off, I just purchased a car. With cash - about half of my bankroll. It was a smart play at the time since I was effortlessly pulling in $1k/days. But since the exact moment I bought it, I've lost every session since. I've completely given up on playing the 114s and am still getting my ass handed to me in the 60s.
Ok, this post is pretty fucking miserable. But that's how I feel. I honestly can't process a positive thought right now. There have been exactly 0 times in the last 5 days that I've been up at any point of the day. I've been constantly pissing money away with zero return. Here's a graph.
Awesome eh?
I realize that people have gone through worse, and I think I even have. But this time it's different. There hasn't been a glimmer of hope that things will return to normal. Something has changed, and I can't decipher it. I think I'm playing the same, but I'm clearly not. And the other problem is, each fresh session I sit down for, it takes me less and less losses to get tilty. When I was winning, tilt rarely appeared. But now, the first suckout sends me off the deep end.
I wish I could just erase my memories, but retain my knowledge. If I can't get out of this funk soon I may have to hang it up, as my bankroll is taking a serious hit. Here is my favorite hand from today:
Seat 1: RikkiDee (1790 in chips)
Seat 3: kampana (2110 in chips)
Seat 5: deut23-10 (3295 in chips)
Seat 6: robbastow (1370 in chips)
Seat 7: jazbailey (1965 in chips)
Seat 8: ozkar4141 (1020 in chips)
Seat 9: Santana627 (1950 in chips)
RikkiDee: posts small blind 50
kampana: posts big blind 100
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to RikkiDee [Ah Jd]
deut23-10: folds
robbastow: folds
jazbailey: folds
ozkar4141: folds
Santana627: raises 200 to 300
RikkiDee: raises 1490 to 1790 and is all-in
kampana: folds
Santana627: calls 1490
*** FLOP *** [Js 7h 8s]
RikkiDee said, "wtf"
*** TURN *** [Js 7h 8s] [Kh]
*** RIVER *** [Js 7h 8s Kh] [2d]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
RikkiDee: shows [Ah Jd] (a pair of Jacks)
Santana627: shows [Jh 8h] (two pair, Jacks and Eights)
Santana627 collected 3680 from pot
May I add that was an insta call.
Whats funny, is that this month is still my most profitable yet, even though I'm vastly underachieving.
posted by RikkiDee at 10:56 PM
1 Comments:
I'm sure it likely seems that you have no choice but to play (whether you run goot or run bad, since you're playing for a living), but it sounds like you should take a few days off.
The only thing that has changed since you were killing the games and playing like a balla is average, normal, run-o'-the-mill variance. Nothing more, nothing less. You're not fucked and you're not going busto. The games you've pulled money from for months and months haven't changed and you haven't suddenly gotten dumb.
Keep playing when your head is in a less than optimal state, though, and you might go busto. Take some time off. If you have to rationalize taking time off, use the Matusow approach, and claim that even though you're playing for a living not playing now (or chunking your laptop in a pool) actually saves you money, as you're deprived of the ability to tilt off any more of your bankroll, thus saving you money in the long run.
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