It was all a dream
This might be my last post on this old blog. I made it a year, which all things considered, is above my expectations.
I bought a car, big screen tv, paid off a ton of student loan debt, and 50,000 other things I didn't need. But it looks like its time to pack it all in.
I think my losses this month are a culmination of what I've feared for a long time:
I'm simply not good enough at poker to beat it.
And whether or not this is actually true in the fictitious vacuum of poker world, is irrelevant, since the only thing that matters is that I think I'm a breakeven player, and therefore I will be.
I'm too diluted to fix my game. I have too much information about SNGs and I can't decipher which is the actual right play and which is fabricated bullshit.
The players at Party Poker have come in and ruined Poker Stars. Completely decimated it. But in reality, all they did was act as a catalyst to the inevitable crash of the poker boom. Like in any efficient market, the truly good will survive and the losers will bow out. Once the truly awful players are busto, the former marginal winners become the new losers, and the market corrects itself. This was going to happen whether or not that awesome bill came into place, it just would have taken more time. All that is happening right now is that the fish are losing their money at an exponential rate now that there are a disproportionate amount of sharks. They've probably all gone busto and/or afraid of the internet gambling bill, while the marginal half fish/half shark mutants now are clinging to any piece of profit they can get.
I'm simply a dying breed.
And while it is probably -EV to even admit that, I think for my own good I need to. I knew I was never that great of a player. I knew that I didn't have the aggression that it takes to beat the game. But I continued to have success month after month, so I started believing in my own hype. And now I need to cut the cord before any real damage is done.
I'll continue to play, since even 3% ROI can be a nice little bonus to my life, I can't live off it. And right now, the stress is killing me.
This month I've made a grand total of $1200. The best part is that I've played more this month than any other month and have now made less than any month I've ever played. Even looking back to last December, where I played only 146 games, I still managed to make more than $1200. And since now I've grown accustomed to $6k+ months, its really fucking hard to go back.
Worst post ever, I know. I can't help it. I feel like such a piece of shit right now. I had such high hopes for this poker thing and now its all crashing down in my face.
Oh well, at least I got my Wii.
I bought a car, big screen tv, paid off a ton of student loan debt, and 50,000 other things I didn't need. But it looks like its time to pack it all in.
I think my losses this month are a culmination of what I've feared for a long time:
I'm simply not good enough at poker to beat it.
And whether or not this is actually true in the fictitious vacuum of poker world, is irrelevant, since the only thing that matters is that I think I'm a breakeven player, and therefore I will be.
I'm too diluted to fix my game. I have too much information about SNGs and I can't decipher which is the actual right play and which is fabricated bullshit.
The players at Party Poker have come in and ruined Poker Stars. Completely decimated it. But in reality, all they did was act as a catalyst to the inevitable crash of the poker boom. Like in any efficient market, the truly good will survive and the losers will bow out. Once the truly awful players are busto, the former marginal winners become the new losers, and the market corrects itself. This was going to happen whether or not that awesome bill came into place, it just would have taken more time. All that is happening right now is that the fish are losing their money at an exponential rate now that there are a disproportionate amount of sharks. They've probably all gone busto and/or afraid of the internet gambling bill, while the marginal half fish/half shark mutants now are clinging to any piece of profit they can get.
I'm simply a dying breed.
And while it is probably -EV to even admit that, I think for my own good I need to. I knew I was never that great of a player. I knew that I didn't have the aggression that it takes to beat the game. But I continued to have success month after month, so I started believing in my own hype. And now I need to cut the cord before any real damage is done.
I'll continue to play, since even 3% ROI can be a nice little bonus to my life, I can't live off it. And right now, the stress is killing me.
This month I've made a grand total of $1200. The best part is that I've played more this month than any other month and have now made less than any month I've ever played. Even looking back to last December, where I played only 146 games, I still managed to make more than $1200. And since now I've grown accustomed to $6k+ months, its really fucking hard to go back.
Worst post ever, I know. I can't help it. I feel like such a piece of shit right now. I had such high hopes for this poker thing and now its all crashing down in my face.
Oh well, at least I got my Wii.
posted by RikkiDee at 2:08 PM
4 Comments:
Shame to see you so down on yourself. You probably just need a bit of a break so you can begin to think about the game again.
Let me know what you think about the Wii as I want to get one for those nights that I am not in the mood for poker.
dude.... I don't know what to say, I'm sure what ever you do will be the right choice, but your a better player then you think you are, you just had 1 bad month. I read about people having bad years and they get by it. I do think that a break is a good Idea, but done give up
I'm nobody to talk about professionally playing poker, but if you believe that SnGs are harder to beat maybe you should try (at least for a change) to play the cash games.
If you are good you can make a ton of money because the fish seem to never run out. And you will find them at all levels. And as long as you recognize the good players you don't even need to mess with them (in SnGs you have to play with whoever signs up).
I don't know if this could help you, but I don't think it would harm you.
You'd obviously have to adapt, but I'm sure you'd find easy.
Thanks for support guys, I really appreciate it. I think I overeacted a bit and hopefully can turn the corner soon.
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