Sand, Meet Vagina

I'm at a real low point right now.

I'd like to say its just in poker, but because poker basically dictates my emotions, I've become down on life. Probably not the best way to start a post, but hey, I'm in a shitty mood.

The games have either gotten ridiculously better or I'm going through a disgusting breakeven patch. I'd like to think its a bit of both, but honestly, it doesn't feel like I'm playing bad, nor getting unlucky. With all the new players coming over from Party, its difficult at first to distinguish who the good players are. Even sharkscope can't help out as their sample sizes are too small to determine any real results.

I can't decide if I should try to change my game at all. I mean, on one hand, for over a year now I've been profitable. Why should I change anything? On the other hand, the game dynamics may have changed and it may take some innovation to beat them. I really don't know. And what sucks is that it would take months of results to determine if said changes are helping me or not. I can't wait that long.

I'm having a crisis of faith. Its been exactly 1 year since I went "pro". A year ago I didn't know how long I'd last, but always assumed in the back of my mind that I would give it up eventually for a "real" job. But as the months went by, and my income steadily rose the prospects of employment became increasingly improbable. And it was all good until mid October, when I started this horrid stretch, and now I'm torn.

The good thing is, even if I did seek employment, I can always play in my spare time, probably as much as I play now anyways. And with backup income, I don't have to become so emotionally drained by variance. Probably a +EV move in a vacuum.

But the world I've lived in for the past year is far removed from society. I don't really like "people". Especially office people. I've gotten pretty damn comfortable in my own environment and I feel I may have trouble adjusting if released into the wild.

I don't know. I saw myself doing this poker thing for at least another year, possibly while attending school for something I actually want to do. But the recent unpleasantness has really gotten to me. Although when I step back and think about it, its probably just a case of sand in vagina'itis. Lets see how the rest of the month goes, get some real results and then make a more informed decision. Okay.

Here are some hands to hopefully entertain anyone who is still reading this doomsday shit.

PokerStars Game #6940396182: Tournament #35415726, $15+$1 Hold'em No Limit - Level V (75/150) - 2006/11/08 - 09:03:18 (ET)
Table '35415726 1' 9-max Seat #3 is the button
Seat 1: L17D (1480 in chips)
Seat 2: jonrass (2750 in chips)
Seat 3: Gambler_DK (1255 in chips)
Seat 4: JustAplayer2 (2665 in chips)
Seat 5: RikkiDee (815 in chips)
Seat 6: Balotin (750 in chips)
Seat 7: exployer (2000 in chips)
Seat 9: AgroMonkey (1985 in chips)
JustAplayer2: posts small blind 75
RikkiDee: posts big blind 150
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to RikkiDee [3h Kh]
Balotin: folds
exployer: calls 150
AgroMonkey: folds
L17D: folds
jonrass: folds
Gambler_DK: folds
JustAplayer2: calls 75
RikkiDee: checks
*** FLOP *** [2c 8h 7h]
JustAplayer2: checks
RikkiDee: bets 665 and is all-in
exployer: calls 665
JustAplayer2: folds
*** TURN *** [2c 8h 7h] [7s]
*** RIVER *** [2c 8h 7h 7s] [9d]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
RikkiDee: shows [3h Kh] (a pair of Sevens)
exployer: shows [9c Jd] (two pair, Nines and Sevens)
exployer collected 1780 from pot

PokerStars Game #6940379536: Tournament #35415519, $6.00+$0.50 Hold'em No Limit - Level VI (100/200) - 2006/11/08 - 08:59:59 (ET)
Table '35415519 1' 9-max Seat #1 is the button
Seat 1: kiki1931 (2690 in chips)
Seat 2: cofios (5010 in chips)
Seat 3: RikkiDee (1490 in chips)
Seat 4: HeyNow76 (1595 in chips)
Seat 6: sulosko (1305 in chips)
Seat 9: jlamb25 (1410 in chips)
cofios: posts small blind 100
RikkiDee: posts big blind 200
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to RikkiDee [Ac Qh]
HeyNow76: folds
sulosko: folds
jlamb25: folds
kiki1931: folds
cofios: calls 100
RikkiDee: raises 1290 to 1490 and is all-in
cofios: calls 1290
*** FLOP *** [6c 9c 8c]
*** TURN *** [6c 9c 8c] [4s]
*** RIVER *** [6c 9c 8c 4s] [2h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
cofios: shows [3d 6d] (a pair of Sixes)
RikkiDee: shows [Ac Qh] (high card Ace)
cofios collected 2980 from pot

The Bean Man: raises 20 to 40
amilehigh420: folds
GotchAgain: folds
RikkiDee: folds
calisdecriss: calls 40
whytee: folds
JordanRR: folds
schmates: calls 20
*** FLOP *** [Qh 5h As]
schmates: checks
The Bean Man: checks
calisdecriss: bets 60
schmates: folds
The Bean Man: raises 60 to 120
calisdecriss: raises 120 to 240
The Bean Man: raises 120 to 360
calisdecriss: raises 120 to 480
The Bean Man: raises 120 to 600
calisdecriss: raises 120 to 720
The Bean Man: calls 60 and is all-in
*** TURN *** [Qh 5h As] [7d]
*** RIVER *** [Qh 5h As 7d] [Js]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
The Bean Man: shows [Ad Ah] (three of a kind, Aces)
calisdecriss: shows [5s 5d] (three of a kind, Fives)

PokerStars Game #6952640447: Tournament #35484328, $105+$9 Hold'em No Limit - Level V (75/150) - 2006/11/09 - 07:23:14 (ET)
Table '35484328 1' 9-max Seat #5 is the button
Seat 1: bigbigclient (3965 in chips)
Seat 2: pebah (1950 in chips)
Seat 3: Hotey (1330 in chips)
Seat 5: owlking (3755 in chips)
Seat 6: el unico (1170 in chips)
Seat 8: RikkiDee (1330 in chips)
el unico: posts small blind 75
RikkiDee: posts big blind 150
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to RikkiDee [Kd Ks]
bigbigclient: folds
pebah: folds
Hotey: folds
owlking: calls 150
el unico: folds
RikkiDee: checks
*** FLOP *** [6s Qc Tc]
RikkiDee: bets 300
owlking: calls 300
*** TURN *** [6s Qc Tc] [Jc]
RikkiDee: bets 880 and is all-in
owlking: calls 880
*** RIVER *** [6s Qc Tc Jc] [5c]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
RikkiDee: shows [Kd Ks] (a pair of Kings)
owlking: shows [Ah 6c] (a flush, Queen high)
owlking collected 2735 from pot

Table '35548350 1' 9-max Seat #8 is the button
Seat 1: floppingnuts (1435 in chips)
Seat 2: beanmo (1445 in chips)
Seat 3: Sleestack666 (1530 in chips)
Seat 4: ElkY (1530 in chips)
Seat 5: gloierm (1575 in chips)
Seat 6: RikkiDee (1705 in chips)
Seat 7: BigBadBailor (1215 in chips)
Seat 8: 1SpeedRacer1 (1610 in chips)
Seat 9: shibbs93 (1455 in chips)
shibbs93: posts small blind 25
floppingnuts: posts big blind 50
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to RikkiDee [Js Ac]
beanmo: folds
Sleestack666: folds
ElkY: folds
gloierm: folds
RikkiDee: raises 100 to 150
BigBadBailor: calls 150
1SpeedRacer1: calls 150
shibbs93: calls 125
floppingnuts: folds
*** FLOP *** [As Kc 8s]
shibbs93: bets 300
RikkiDee: calls 300
BigBadBailor: folds
1SpeedRacer1: folds
*** TURN *** [As Kc 8s] [6d]
shibbs93: bets 400
RikkiDee: raises 855 to 1255 and is all-in
shibbs93: calls 605 and is all-in
*** RIVER *** [As Kc 8s 6d] [7h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
shibbs93: shows [6h 6s] (three of a kind, Sixes)
RikkiDee: shows [Js Ac] (a pair of Aces)
shibbs93 collected 3260 from pot