The Re-Pussification of RikkiDee

Back in August I boasted about my new found grinding abilities. I had finally gotten over the hump of booking wins and all that other garbage. I put in long days, and got some sweet ass results in the process.

I proceeded to play like this for months, and I was fine with it. I was used to getting in 50+ games a day and was increasingly numb to the inevitable swings.

But then November happened. Confidence shot, bankroll depleted. The suicide watch was on around here.

The pain of a diminishing bankroll is one that is not easily overcome. I had to move down in limits, examine my game and hopefully claw back up to glory. Now while I've been marginally successful this month, I'm still nowhere near the hot and sexy grinding machine that I was August-October. In December I've only played about 350 games, which is pathetic, put possibly needed.

I'm not sure if its +EV to start booking wins and cutting sessions short when up right now. I mean, in the vacuum of poker world, I should be playing whenever I can, assuming I have an edge. But in my fragile faggy mind, I need to see those wins, down on paper, to prove once again that I can become a winning grinder. So for the last 3 days, while taking in almost $3k in winnings, I've cut every session short. Probably a -EV move in the short run, but it may be just what I need to get back in the saddle.

It doesn't look like I'm going to be putting in any more serious days in before the New Year. A week ago I was planning my graceful exit from the poker world, and dealing with a month of negative income. So to be sitting here a week later up close to $4k, I feel that I shouldn't be greedy and continue to grind it out, even if there is a potential upside of a few more thousand.

I'm good, lets chill.














(Thats my cat - Princess. Chillin')