Wastin' Time
I think everyone, at one time or another considers the extent of how much of their life they've wasted or are currently wasting. The term "wasting life" obviously takes on all sorts of meanings, and applies differently to each individual. For myself, its meaning is two-fold. The first being that up to this point in my life, I've wasted a shit load of time doing completely pointless things that in no way advances me in the board game of life. Take today for instance. I woke up at noon and played video games for 10 hours. Complete waste.
The second meaning for me, is a bit more complex but is basically an extension of the first. By wasting blocks of time in my past, it has disabled a lot of possible avenues I could explore in the future. These avenues range greatly from social to economic, but all in all, my future is limited due to my past wasted time. Again, this is probably a fair assumption for all humans, as it seems like it is in the human spirit to always want improvement in their life and look back on some of their past decisions as a waste, or at least not the the most +EV move at the time.
However wasted time has affected you, it all leads to one thing - what are you going to do about it? Even if you feel as though you have made mistakes or wasted time in the past, it simply does not matter since you can't do jack shit about it. It is a sunk cost pure and simple and all that matters (read: things you can change) are events in the future.
I say all this as I see myself at a pretty big crossroad in my life. I've actually been at this crossroad for about a year now, mostly thanks to the existence of poker. As cliched as it sounds, I'd actually like to do something with my life. Now I'm not all that idealistic and don't really care how I end up contributing to society, as long as I don't have to go through years of soul-sucking office torture to do it. Occasionally I catch myself dreaming that I won the lottery and could just sit down and jerk it all day, but in reality, I know that would be a very boring and unfulfilling life. For the past year I've basically been doing nothing with my life. I haven't taken any steps forward towards what I want for my future - my last year has essentially been a waste. Its damn easy to waste a year and its actually kind of scary. I mean I'm 26 now, not old obviously but a lot older than I ever imagined I would be (as stupid as that sounds). I've never really planned too far in the future, hence the exorbitant amount of wasted time in my past. I feel like this latest blow to the online poker world may be a blessing in disguise, as it will force me to get out and actually do something. You know, like almost everyone else on the planet.
And its not that I want to be like anyone else - these desires are selfish through and through. I want a good rewarding life, one where I get up everyday for a reason and goto bed with a smile on my face. It's not only a daily goal, but the end result as well. Its where I want to be tomorrow and 40 years from now. Maintaining that takes a great deal of life improvement on a day to day basis, and right now, online poker simply isn't the means to this end.
Sorry for the long rant there, just typing my mind so to speak.
The second meaning for me, is a bit more complex but is basically an extension of the first. By wasting blocks of time in my past, it has disabled a lot of possible avenues I could explore in the future. These avenues range greatly from social to economic, but all in all, my future is limited due to my past wasted time. Again, this is probably a fair assumption for all humans, as it seems like it is in the human spirit to always want improvement in their life and look back on some of their past decisions as a waste, or at least not the the most +EV move at the time.
However wasted time has affected you, it all leads to one thing - what are you going to do about it? Even if you feel as though you have made mistakes or wasted time in the past, it simply does not matter since you can't do jack shit about it. It is a sunk cost pure and simple and all that matters (read: things you can change) are events in the future.
I say all this as I see myself at a pretty big crossroad in my life. I've actually been at this crossroad for about a year now, mostly thanks to the existence of poker. As cliched as it sounds, I'd actually like to do something with my life. Now I'm not all that idealistic and don't really care how I end up contributing to society, as long as I don't have to go through years of soul-sucking office torture to do it. Occasionally I catch myself dreaming that I won the lottery and could just sit down and jerk it all day, but in reality, I know that would be a very boring and unfulfilling life. For the past year I've basically been doing nothing with my life. I haven't taken any steps forward towards what I want for my future - my last year has essentially been a waste. Its damn easy to waste a year and its actually kind of scary. I mean I'm 26 now, not old obviously but a lot older than I ever imagined I would be (as stupid as that sounds). I've never really planned too far in the future, hence the exorbitant amount of wasted time in my past. I feel like this latest blow to the online poker world may be a blessing in disguise, as it will force me to get out and actually do something. You know, like almost everyone else on the planet.
And its not that I want to be like anyone else - these desires are selfish through and through. I want a good rewarding life, one where I get up everyday for a reason and goto bed with a smile on my face. It's not only a daily goal, but the end result as well. Its where I want to be tomorrow and 40 years from now. Maintaining that takes a great deal of life improvement on a day to day basis, and right now, online poker simply isn't the means to this end.
Sorry for the long rant there, just typing my mind so to speak.
posted by RikkiDee at 9:30 AM
2 Comments:
Hey wasting time isn't the worst thing in the world.... and you are right that you can improve things from this point on.
I read one of those Anthony Robbins books and it really helped me set some goals about 5 years ago all of which have almost come true.
Back then I just got married and had no job and not sure how I would get the job I wanted. Now I am cruising along and can't believe sometimes how I have improved so much in such a small amount of time.
You can do it... just commit yourself to a goal and set reasonable steps along the way and it will get done.
The average working man wishes he was in your position right now...
...It's a typical feeling we all have. Want something you don't have, then miss what you had, when you, erm, no longer have it.
It's like gonnorhea.
Wait...scratch that last sentence.
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