I Love the Smell of Fish in the Morning
I had an early doctors appointment today and therefore was up before noon for the first time in 2 years. Had my first adult physical in my life since my girlfriend is paranoid I have AIDS or something and made me go. As tired as I was from 4 hours sleep, nothing gets you up like a strangers cold finger up your ass.
I got home early and had an hour or so to kill so I decided to fire up some poker to see if anyone was even online. I mean honestly, who is even awake let alone plays poker at 10am?
Donks apparently. Donks-a-plenty.
Played for less than an hour and won over 4 buyins through no skill of my own other than just reading my hand and the flop. Honestly people were just handing their money over for no good reason. I mean I could see if I had been playing with them for a few hours and had bluffed them or something, but these donks were stacking off to me after literally 2 hands. Here are the highlights (and 1 lowlight).
------------------
HAND #1
------------------
Party Poker, $2/$4 NL Hold'em Cash Game, 5 Players
LeggoPoker.com - Hand History Converter
UTG: $642.10
CO: $311.70
BTN: $398
SB: $1,037.10
Hero (BB): $418.10
Pre-Flop: K
K
dealt to Hero (BB)
3 folds, SB calls $2, Hero raises to $16, SB raises to $38, Hero raises to $124, SB calls $88
Flop: ($256) 7 4 Q (2 Players)
SB checks, Hero bets $155, SB raises to $408, Hero calls $135.10 and is All-In
Turn: ($836.20) 7 (2 Players - 1 is All-In)
River: ($836.20) 9 (2 Players - 1 is All-In)
Results: $836.20 Pot ($2 Rake)
SB showed 8 8
(two pairs, Eights and Sevens) and LOST (-$418.10 NET)
Hero showed K K (two pairs, Kings and Sevens) and WON $834.20 (+$416.10 NET)
------------------
HAND #2
------------------
Party Poker, $2/$4 NL Hold'em Cash Game, 6 Players
LeggoPoker.com - Hand History Converter
UTG: $456
MP: $809.60
Hero (CO): $394
BTN: $374.80
SB: $484.60
BB: $604.66
Pre-Flop: J 9
dealt to Hero (CO)
2 folds, Hero raises to $14, 2 folds, BB calls $10
Flop: ($30) Q K T (2 Players)
BB checks, Hero bets $22, BB raises to $66, Hero raises to $168, BB raises to $590.66 and is All-In, Hero calls $212 and is All-In
Turn: ($790) 7 (2 Players - 1 is All-In)
River: ($790) 5 (2 Players - 1 is All-In)
Results: $790 Pot ($3 Rake)
Hero showed J 9 (a straight Nine to King) and WON $787 (+$393 NET)
BB showed Q T (two pairs, Queens and Tens) and LOST (-$394 NET)
------------------
HAND #3
------------------
Party Poker, $2/$4 NL Hold'em Cash Game, 6 Players
LeggoPoker.com - Hand History Converter
BB: $400
UTG: $81.50
MP: $413.10
Hero (CO): $399.50
BTN: $328.50
SB: $396
Pre-Flop: 6 5 dealt to Hero (CO)
2 folds, Hero raises to $14, BTN calls $14, 2 folds
Flop: ($34) 5 8 6 (2 Players)
Hero bets $25, BTN raises to $60, Hero raises to $324, BTN calls $254.50 and is All-In
Turn: ($663) 6 (2 Players - 1 is All-In)
River: ($663) K (2 Players - 1 is All-In)
Results: $663 Pot ($13 Rake)
Hero showed 6 5 (a full house, Sixes full of Fives) and WON $650 (+$321.50 NET)
BTN mucked T T (two pairs, Tens and Sixes) and LOST (-$328.50 NET)
------------------
HAND #4
------------------
Party Poker, $2/$4 NL Hold'em Cash Game, 6 Players
LeggoPoker.com - Hand History Converter
Hero (MP): $394
CO: $726.20
BTN: $96.50
SB: $97.40
BB: $175.80
UTG: $362.40
Pre-Flop: J Q dealt to Hero (MP)
UTG folds, Hero raises to $16, CO calls $16, 3 folds
Flop: ($38) 8 K A (2 Players)
Hero bets $28, CO calls $28
Turn: ($94) 7 (2 Players)
Hero checks, CO checks
River: ($94) T (2 Players)
Hero bets $40, CO raises to $100, Hero raises to $250, CO calls $150
Results: $594 Pot ($3.50 Rake)
Hero showed J Q (a straight Ten to Ace) and WON $590.50 (+$296.50 NET)
CO mucked J A (a pair of Aces) and LOST (-$294 NET)
------------------
HAND #5
------------------
Party Poker, $2/$4 NL Hold'em Cash Game, 6 Players
LeggoPoker.com - Hand History Converter
UTG: $411.35
MP: $111.50
CO: $459.55
Hero (BTN): $649.60
SB: $173.10
BB: $406
Pre-Flop: J J dealt to Hero (BTN)
3 folds, Hero raises to $14, SB raises to $173.10 and is All-In, BB folds, Hero calls $159.10
Flop: ($350.20) 3 5 K (2 Players - 1 is All-In)
Turn: ($350.20) T (2 Players - 1 is All-In)
River: ($350.20) 4 (2 Players - 1 is All-In)
Results: $350.20 Pot ($3.50 Rake)
Hero showed J J (a pair of Jacks) and WON $346.70 (+$173.60 NET)
SB mucked 8 6 (high card King) and LOST (-$173.10 NET)
------------------
HAND #6
------------------
Party Poker, $2/$4 NL Hold'em Cash Game, 5 Players
LeggoPoker.com - Hand History Converter
BTN: $712.60
Hero (SB): $833.70
BB: $406.90
UTG: $590.60
CO: $52.50
Pre-Flop: A K dealt to Hero (SB)
UTG calls $4, 2 folds, Hero raises to $22, BB folds, UTG calls $18
Flop: ($48) T 4 2 (2 Players)
Hero bets $38, UTG calls $38
Turn: ($124) 2 (2 Players)
Hero bets $75, UTG raises to $150, Hero raises to $773.70 and is All-In, UTG folds
Results: $424 Pot
Hero mucked A K and WON $1,045.70 (+$835.70 NET)
------------------
HAND #7
------------------
This hand was super gay in every way. I obviously can't fold 65s here because my opponent is fellow multitabler who I know is trying to just push me around. I absolutely hate his stupid faggity ass way of playing this hand too. I mean come on, just push the flop you retard, I'm obviously calling. Meanwhile he pushes the turn for no good reason when the flush card hits basically turning his hand into a bluff since I'm not calling him unless he is beat. These are the types of hands that I have to play every fucking day against other multitablers who are hell bent on out playing me. Its real fun.
Party Poker, $2/$4 NL Hold'em Cash Game, 5 Players
LeggoPoker.com - Hand History Converter
Hero (CO): $542.80
BTN: $402.57
SB: $123.80
BB: $400
UTG: $583
Pre-Flop: 6 5 dealt to Hero (CO)
UTG folds, Hero raises to $14, 2 folds, BB raises to $48, Hero calls $34
Flop: ($98) T K K (2 Players)
BB bets $68, Hero raises to $198, BB calls $130
Turn: ($494) J (2 Players)
BB bets $154 and is All-In, Hero calls $154
River: ($802) J (2 Players - 1 is All-In)
Results: $802 Pot ($2 Rake)
Hero showed 6 5 (a flush, King high) and LOST (-$400 NET)
BB showed 7 K (a full house, Kings full of Jacks) and WON $800 (+$400 NET)
I got home early and had an hour or so to kill so I decided to fire up some poker to see if anyone was even online. I mean honestly, who is even awake let alone plays poker at 10am?
Donks apparently. Donks-a-plenty.
Played for less than an hour and won over 4 buyins through no skill of my own other than just reading my hand and the flop. Honestly people were just handing their money over for no good reason. I mean I could see if I had been playing with them for a few hours and had bluffed them or something, but these donks were stacking off to me after literally 2 hands. Here are the highlights (and 1 lowlight).
------------------
HAND #1
------------------
Party Poker, $2/$4 NL Hold'em Cash Game, 5 Players
LeggoPoker.com - Hand History Converter
UTG: $642.10
CO: $311.70
BTN: $398
SB: $1,037.10
Hero (BB): $418.10
Pre-Flop: K
K dealt to Hero (BB)3 folds, SB calls $2, Hero raises to $16, SB raises to $38, Hero raises to $124, SB calls $88
Flop: ($256) 7
4 Q (2 Players)SB checks, Hero bets $155, SB raises to $408, Hero calls $135.10 and is All-In
Turn: ($836.20) 7
(2 Players - 1 is All-In)River: ($836.20) 9
(2 Players - 1 is All-In)Results: $836.20 Pot ($2 Rake)
SB showed 8
8 (two pairs, Eights and Sevens) and LOST (-$418.10 NET)Hero showed K
K (two pairs, Kings and Sevens) and WON $834.20 (+$416.10 NET)------------------
HAND #2
------------------
Party Poker, $2/$4 NL Hold'em Cash Game, 6 Players
LeggoPoker.com - Hand History Converter
UTG: $456
MP: $809.60
Hero (CO): $394
BTN: $374.80
SB: $484.60
BB: $604.66
Pre-Flop: J
9 dealt to Hero (CO)2 folds, Hero raises to $14, 2 folds, BB calls $10
Flop: ($30) Q
K T (2 Players)BB checks, Hero bets $22, BB raises to $66, Hero raises to $168, BB raises to $590.66 and is All-In, Hero calls $212 and is All-In
Turn: ($790) 7
(2 Players - 1 is All-In)River: ($790) 5
(2 Players - 1 is All-In)Results: $790 Pot ($3 Rake)
Hero showed J
9 (a straight Nine to King) and WON $787 (+$393 NET)BB showed Q
T (two pairs, Queens and Tens) and LOST (-$394 NET)------------------
HAND #3
------------------
Party Poker, $2/$4 NL Hold'em Cash Game, 6 Players
LeggoPoker.com - Hand History Converter
BB: $400
UTG: $81.50
MP: $413.10
Hero (CO): $399.50
BTN: $328.50
SB: $396
Pre-Flop: 6
5 dealt to Hero (CO)2 folds, Hero raises to $14, BTN calls $14, 2 folds
Flop: ($34) 5
8 6 (2 Players)Hero bets $25, BTN raises to $60, Hero raises to $324, BTN calls $254.50 and is All-In
Turn: ($663) 6
(2 Players - 1 is All-In)River: ($663) K
(2 Players - 1 is All-In)Results: $663 Pot ($13 Rake)
Hero showed 6
5 (a full house, Sixes full of Fives) and WON $650 (+$321.50 NET)BTN mucked T
T (two pairs, Tens and Sixes) and LOST (-$328.50 NET)------------------
HAND #4
------------------
Party Poker, $2/$4 NL Hold'em Cash Game, 6 Players
LeggoPoker.com - Hand History Converter
Hero (MP): $394
CO: $726.20
BTN: $96.50
SB: $97.40
BB: $175.80
UTG: $362.40
Pre-Flop: J
Q dealt to Hero (MP)UTG folds, Hero raises to $16, CO calls $16, 3 folds
Flop: ($38) 8
K A (2 Players)Hero bets $28, CO calls $28
Turn: ($94) 7
(2 Players)Hero checks, CO checks
River: ($94) T
(2 Players)Hero bets $40, CO raises to $100, Hero raises to $250, CO calls $150
Results: $594 Pot ($3.50 Rake)
Hero showed J
Q (a straight Ten to Ace) and WON $590.50 (+$296.50 NET)CO mucked J
A (a pair of Aces) and LOST (-$294 NET)------------------
HAND #5
------------------
Party Poker, $2/$4 NL Hold'em Cash Game, 6 Players
LeggoPoker.com - Hand History Converter
UTG: $411.35
MP: $111.50
CO: $459.55
Hero (BTN): $649.60
SB: $173.10
BB: $406
Pre-Flop: J
J dealt to Hero (BTN)3 folds, Hero raises to $14, SB raises to $173.10 and is All-In, BB folds, Hero calls $159.10
Flop: ($350.20) 3
5 K (2 Players - 1 is All-In)Turn: ($350.20) T
(2 Players - 1 is All-In)River: ($350.20) 4
(2 Players - 1 is All-In)Results: $350.20 Pot ($3.50 Rake)
Hero showed J
J (a pair of Jacks) and WON $346.70 (+$173.60 NET)SB mucked 8
6 (high card King) and LOST (-$173.10 NET)------------------
HAND #6
------------------
Party Poker, $2/$4 NL Hold'em Cash Game, 5 Players
LeggoPoker.com - Hand History Converter
BTN: $712.60
Hero (SB): $833.70
BB: $406.90
UTG: $590.60
CO: $52.50
Pre-Flop: A
K dealt to Hero (SB)UTG calls $4, 2 folds, Hero raises to $22, BB folds, UTG calls $18
Flop: ($48) T
4 2 (2 Players)Hero bets $38, UTG calls $38
Turn: ($124) 2
(2 Players)Hero bets $75, UTG raises to $150, Hero raises to $773.70 and is All-In, UTG folds
Results: $424 Pot
Hero mucked A
K and WON $1,045.70 (+$835.70 NET)------------------
HAND #7
------------------
This hand was super gay in every way. I obviously can't fold 65s here because my opponent is fellow multitabler who I know is trying to just push me around. I absolutely hate his stupid faggity ass way of playing this hand too. I mean come on, just push the flop you retard, I'm obviously calling. Meanwhile he pushes the turn for no good reason when the flush card hits basically turning his hand into a bluff since I'm not calling him unless he is beat. These are the types of hands that I have to play every fucking day against other multitablers who are hell bent on out playing me. Its real fun.
Party Poker, $2/$4 NL Hold'em Cash Game, 5 Players
LeggoPoker.com - Hand History Converter
Hero (CO): $542.80
BTN: $402.57
SB: $123.80
BB: $400
UTG: $583
Pre-Flop: 6
5 dealt to Hero (CO)UTG folds, Hero raises to $14, 2 folds, BB raises to $48, Hero calls $34
Flop: ($98) T
K K (2 Players)BB bets $68, Hero raises to $198, BB calls $130
Turn: ($494) J
(2 Players)BB bets $154 and is All-In, Hero calls $154
River: ($802) J
(2 Players - 1 is All-In)Results: $802 Pot ($2 Rake)
Hero showed 6
5 (a flush, King high) and LOST (-$400 NET)BB showed 7
K (a full house, Kings full of Jacks) and WON $800 (+$400 NET)
posted by RikkiDee at 8:18 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home