Late night ramblins
This past weekend my Cal Ripken like streak of winning football betting weekends came to an end with a dismal 3-5 record. Not the end of the world obviously but when you have picked 80% of winners against the spread all year your expectation becomes a little skewed. As much as I joke I always knew that I was just running well above expectation and variance was coming around the bend to destroy my bankroll eventually. So at this point I'll just take my winnings and pocket them. Maybe bet on a few games here and there, but no more 8 games a week at $100 a pop.
Retarded I am.
In poker news, I've finally moved back up to 2/4 after a disastrous early November that started with a nice "cashout curse", onto a sickening break even stretch and then ended with a nice heater to get me back to normality. I avoided another cashout curse this month by keeping my winnings in my account and just paying the bills with credit for now. I looked at all the successful businesses running month to month with great amounts debt, and thought to myself why haven't I been doing this all along?
The increased expectation when moving up a level extremely significant to me in regards to my bankroll and my monthly expenses. Since I've bought this house my expenses have increased (obv) which is actually a good thing for my poker game since it sort of forces me to play more but even still I've just barely been increasing my roll. I know I can beat 2/4 for at least a similar winrate as 1/2 but my roll hasn't allowed me to move up and stay up. Hopefully this month will be the final one with any 1/2 play in it.
I've thought a lot about motivation and ambition lately and I've come to the conclusion that I don't understand the majority of the planets ever-increasing desire for "more". Sure, I like new things, but I know I can survive without them. Hell if it wasn't for Mrs.Dee I probably would be living in a 400 square foot basement apartment with $500 in monthly living expenses. I really could care less about contentiously improving my wealth and status in life. This is evident in my work ethic as I generally only work when I need money. I goto the computer and ask for my bills to be paid by other people, and they eventually oblige. A month goes by and I do it again. My expenses define my ambition.
But most others are different. Most want endless money, endless power, endless everything. Philosophically I don't understand this desire. Why do people consistently - regardless of income - want more? I realize that without this innate desire we wouldn't have the evolution of western civilization that we've all come to love, but that doesn't mean I understand it. Most of us have been "poor" at one time or another in our life. Aside from trust fund millionaires and the like, we've all been young adults with little assets and yet we survived. Hell, those are the years that many consider to be the best of their lives. Yet we strive on, in an endless search for something that can never be obtained - like a stupid dog chasing his tail.
I mean, I know the science behind the evolution of this, but have we not evolved enough intellectually to realize the utter stupidity of it all? Obviously not. I suppose if you have the mindset of procreation being the purpose of life, it all makes sense. I mean, in order to procreate you need mate. Obviously you want the best mate so you go out and get an education, a impressive job, a gym membership and cologne to find one. I mean your whole life is basically one long job interview, trying to impress someone in order to make more of you - so they can go on and do the same thing. If you were the only person on the planet, would you have the same ambition in life? Is it really just competition that drives the entire human species? I hate to think that we are that petty, but I don't see any other rationale behind it.
Enjoy life day to day, fuck the future and go out and start making yourself happy.
Retarded I am.
In poker news, I've finally moved back up to 2/4 after a disastrous early November that started with a nice "cashout curse", onto a sickening break even stretch and then ended with a nice heater to get me back to normality. I avoided another cashout curse this month by keeping my winnings in my account and just paying the bills with credit for now. I looked at all the successful businesses running month to month with great amounts debt, and thought to myself why haven't I been doing this all along?
The increased expectation when moving up a level extremely significant to me in regards to my bankroll and my monthly expenses. Since I've bought this house my expenses have increased (obv) which is actually a good thing for my poker game since it sort of forces me to play more but even still I've just barely been increasing my roll. I know I can beat 2/4 for at least a similar winrate as 1/2 but my roll hasn't allowed me to move up and stay up. Hopefully this month will be the final one with any 1/2 play in it.
I've thought a lot about motivation and ambition lately and I've come to the conclusion that I don't understand the majority of the planets ever-increasing desire for "more". Sure, I like new things, but I know I can survive without them. Hell if it wasn't for Mrs.Dee I probably would be living in a 400 square foot basement apartment with $500 in monthly living expenses. I really could care less about contentiously improving my wealth and status in life. This is evident in my work ethic as I generally only work when I need money. I goto the computer and ask for my bills to be paid by other people, and they eventually oblige. A month goes by and I do it again. My expenses define my ambition.
But most others are different. Most want endless money, endless power, endless everything. Philosophically I don't understand this desire. Why do people consistently - regardless of income - want more? I realize that without this innate desire we wouldn't have the evolution of western civilization that we've all come to love, but that doesn't mean I understand it. Most of us have been "poor" at one time or another in our life. Aside from trust fund millionaires and the like, we've all been young adults with little assets and yet we survived. Hell, those are the years that many consider to be the best of their lives. Yet we strive on, in an endless search for something that can never be obtained - like a stupid dog chasing his tail.
I mean, I know the science behind the evolution of this, but have we not evolved enough intellectually to realize the utter stupidity of it all? Obviously not. I suppose if you have the mindset of procreation being the purpose of life, it all makes sense. I mean, in order to procreate you need mate. Obviously you want the best mate so you go out and get an education, a impressive job, a gym membership and cologne to find one. I mean your whole life is basically one long job interview, trying to impress someone in order to make more of you - so they can go on and do the same thing. If you were the only person on the planet, would you have the same ambition in life? Is it really just competition that drives the entire human species? I hate to think that we are that petty, but I don't see any other rationale behind it.
Enjoy life day to day, fuck the future and go out and start making yourself happy.
posted by RikkiDee at 2:11 AM
2 Comments:
Hey that is how I would like to live my life but I want all the cool stuff and I don't want ot work at a stupid job tht pays nothing. Make more money to spend more moeny.
you can live 2 lives. One to be TRUELY happy you have to live every moment to it's fullest. Two to live towards a means...live through your past and dream of the future. 95% of people are the second.
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