Dear Party Poker

Heres my email I just sent to party:

Ok

So I stopped playing at party for a month or so. You guys noticed, thats nice, its nice to feel appreciated. You offered me a sizable deposit bonus. Also nice. I thought, hey, why let a few minor things like the software crashing every hour and lack of any meaningful loyalty program get in the way of a free $500 deposit bonus. So I deposited, and have been getting back to playing a bit on party. Its win win. You guys get my long term rake, I get your bonus.

But then I remembered why I left party in the first place.

I went to join some tables today to play, and in the meantime was checking out my bonus status. $500 bonus still active, party points to clear - 3000, expires SEPT 4, 2008.

If my math is correct, I have to play 5454 "raked" hands at 2/4NL to get to 3000 base party points. Since I fold 80% of my hands this means I have to play in the neighborhood of 25,000 hands in order to clear your bonus. On top of this you put a ridiculous 2 week expiry date on the bonus. Tell me, exactly how many of your customers play in the neighborhood of 50k hands a month? Probably a very small percentage I'd imagine. Not to mention you are trying to "win me back" which should involve some sort of easing me back in. I'm not going to automatically start playing on your site and putting in 25k hands in 2 weeks just to clear a bonus.

Now I've realized what you have done. You basically duped me into joining your horrible site by offering me a bonus that can never be cleared. Congratulations, you've lost me again, probably for good now.

I realize you probably don't care and probably won't even read this email but I really think if there's even a chance that someone there at party is actually listening to their customers, it could go a long way. I mean, there are about 10 things that a monkey could realize is wrong with your site, yet you seem intent on staying the same as you've been since 2004. I mean you don't even properly order the button when heads up. How basic can you get for "the worlds largest poker room"? But I digress, no one is listening. I'm just one semi consistent user who is leaving your site, who cares? My bonus will go uncleared and you will have done your job by getting me to deposit.

I wish you luck in all future endeavors.

Regards,

TokenBlak

I imagine absolutley nothing will come of this. Whoever reads it (if anyone even bothers to) will immediately delete it as if it never happened. Thats the party way. Ignore all problems until everyone leaves your god awful site.